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"Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't
leave something that can be traced back to you."
"This reminds me of a revelation I had a few years ago, after getting
my first CD-ROM drive. I'd manage to misplace a CD containing a
multimedia encyclopedia and eventually found it sitting on the floor
under my desk. I realised then that never before in human history had
it been possible to lose an entire 28 volume encyclopedia by dropping
it behind a piece of furniture. Now that's what I call progress !"
— $rtbl_this.
"A logician trying to explain logic to a programmer is like a cat
trying to explain to a fish what it's like to get wet."
"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the
development time...
...The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the
development time." — Tom Cargill.
"A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken."
"If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if
you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime."
Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of
conversing with inanimate objects.
"DOS computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy,
and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70
million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand,
may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that
numbers alone do not denote a higher life form." — New
York Times, November 26, 1991.
"Anti-glare screens to prevent eye strain ??? In my day, you
didn't
need an anti-glare screen. With the power they consumed, when you
turned your computer on, the whole building darkened !"
— Simon Travaglia (the B.O.F.H.).
"The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other
invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."
— Mitch Ratcliffe.
"If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off
when I shoot it ?" — The Covert Comic.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to use the Net
and he won't bother you for weeks.
Hardware /nm./: the part of the computer that you can kick.
"Dating a girl is just like writing software. Everythings going to work
just fine in the testing lab (dating), but as soon as you have contract
with a customer (marriage), then your program (life) is going to be
facing new situations you never expected. You'll be forced to patch the
code (admit you're wrong) and then the code (wife) will just end up all
bloated and unmaintainable in the end." — scott1853.
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Stephanie
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